I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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