Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
