I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize