so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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