You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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