I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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