Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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