I just pynch a tree in the face
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize