Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
