then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
