My first STD was from a foam party
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
