dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
