I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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