bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize