no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
