So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize