I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
