I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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