I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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