I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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