you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
