He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm bleeding and have questions
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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