I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
