are you still at the devil's house?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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