she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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