matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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