i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
