just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
