No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
