did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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