go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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