i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
