Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
