I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize