Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
