Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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