Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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