did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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