you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
