this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
