Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
