evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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