Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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