So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
