May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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