hotel room ftw
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
