I'd wear matching sweaters with you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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