don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
