i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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