Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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