Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
