We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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