I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
